Happy Panic Productions

No girls allowed

From the "Now I've Seen Everything" Dept.: the guy running Spike TV got fired for attracting too many viewers.

Putter or Cane?

On the question of whether Andy Garcia's character in Ocean's Twelve carries a putter or a cane: a friend e-mailed me a link to this production still with the subject line, "It's a putter." Honest, I'm not being stubborn, I just don't see how this pictures demonstrates that. I did a quick survey of movie reviews; some call it a putter, some call it a cane. I could only find one reference from someone on the production, in this interview with Andy Garcia himself:

TW: Andy, did you take on this role so that you could get the wardrobe?
Andy Garcia: No, I didn’t get the wardrobe. I don’t think the wardrobe could be worn anywhere outside of a movie set. That’d be difficult. I did have my dibs on my [putter] cane that I created, but I haven’t seen it yet.

It's pretty clear that Garcia said cane, and then the editor thought his comment required correction or clarification. Did the editor do this solely on having seen the movie and seen it as a putter, or does he have other sources? Maybe if they publish the script then I'll have my answer. I'll go check.

Roger, Ebert, I read you: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

Actually, I think this is the best Ebert review I've ever read. And he doesn't get any details wrong (well, nothing I wouldn't embarass myself by quibbling over). He even has a couple of good lines:

• "'The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou'" is the damnedest film. I can't recommend it, but I would not for one second discourage you from seeing it.


• Along the way they collect Ned Plimpton (Owen Wilson), who thinks he may be Steve's son, although my theory is he's just another one of George Plimpton's unfinished projects.

Furthermore, regarding my first edition of "Roger, Ebert, I Read You", my wife agrees with Ebert that Andy Garcia was holding a golf putter. Anyone have any screen shots?

Recent Books

These are the ones I read in the second half of 2004. I can't remember reading any books in the first half of the year. Surely I read something?

• Jorge Luis Borges, Ficciones (1945)


• Studs Terkel, The Good War (1984)


• Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (2004)


• Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation (2004)


• James Kochalka, Peanutbutter & Jeremy's Best Book Ever (2003)

Best of 2004

Best Film: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Parts of it still make me laugh, just thinking about them, months later.

Best Old Movie (film): Modern Times (1936)

Best Old Movie (video): Fitzcarraldo (1982)


Worst Film: Alien vs. Predator (2004)

Worst Old Movie (film): Stranger Than Paradise (1983). Mostly because it doesn’t have any competition for this category. I got bored.

Worst Old Movie (video): Theory of Flight (1998)

Best DVD Release: The Office - The Complete Collection


Best Book: Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (2004)

Best Short Story: Jorge Luis Borges, “The Library of Babylon” (1945)

Best Movie I Didn’t See: I Heart Huckabees

Best Actor I Became Aware Of: Shahrukh Khan

Best Album: Joanna Newsom, “Milk-eyed Mender”


Best Song (songs from Best Album ineligible): “Twilight’s Turquoise Delight” and “Pandora Blues” by Jedediah Parish (tie)

Best CD release: The Coctails, “Popcorn Box”

Best Musical Performance: The Coctails at the The Hideout, 11/14/04

Best Play: Alice (Neo-Futurists)

Best Fake Spam Sender’s Name: Spoonerism L. Pagination (if only it had been Poonerism L. Spaginaiton)