Happy Panic Productions

Roger, Ebert, I read you: The Baxter (2005)

We are informed early in "The Baxter" that "the baxter" is a term for the guy in a movie who never gets the girl. This came as news to me, and I expect it will come as a shock to my friend Billy (Silver Dollar) Baxter, who always gets more or less what he wants, especially when he wants a good seat in a restaurant Ha ha! Good ol' Billy Baxter. Yes, I bet that will get "under his collar", if you know what I mean (right, Roger?)!

To be a good nerd in a movie, a nerd should resemble a baked potato, as I have so often heard them described by Billy (Silver Dollar) Baxter: "I've been tubbed, I've been scrubbed, I've been rubbed! I'm lovable, huggable and eatable!" Hee hee ho! Oh, that Billy! Whee! You guys are so cool.

There's also a hilarious supporting performance by Peter Dinklage, as a wedding planner named Benson Hedges. His name reminds me of the year Edy Williams introduced me to her date on Oscar night: "I'd like you to meet Dean Witter." Wow! Can I sit at your lunch table? Pretty please?

Tech Support with ELIZA

System
Connecting to server. Please wait...
12:29:11 PM

System
Connected to quicken.ehosts.net
12:29:11 PM

System
Initial Question/Comment: Can only unlock & run Quicken when logged in as admin.
12:29:22 PM

System
Roger has joined this session!
12:29:29 PM

Roger
Hi ! I am Roger. Welcome to Quicken chat. I've reviewed the brief issue summary you provided. Could you provide specific details to help me better understand your situation?
12:30:42 PM

You
I installed Quicken on WinXP and completed unlocking online (logged in a admn, of course). When I log back in as user and launch Quicken, I get this error:
12:31:16 PM

You
"Quicken is unable to complete the unlock process. Please use the help menu..."
12:31:44 PM

You
When I click OK, the error reappears after about a second, too quick for me to even select an option under Help.
12:32:07 PM

Roger
Thank you for the details...
12:32:19 PM

You
I have logged back in as admin and unlocked again, and it runs fine, but I keep getting the error when logged in as user.
12:32:25 PM

Roger
You mean to say that you have installed Quicken with the Admin login and now when you try to open Quicken with the user account you are getting the error message,is that so?
12:32:32 PM

You
yes
12:34:43 PM

Roger
Well,Quicken has the inbuilt function that no one can use Quicken with the user account when Quicken is installed as in the Admin login,you will not be able to open Quicken when you login as the User account.
12:35:27 PM

You
But you cannot install unless you are admin
12:36:01 PM

You
Do you mean to say you can only use Quicken when logged in as admin?
12:36:12 PM

Roger
Yes,You need to install Quicken with the Administrator login .
12:37:04 PM

You
Do you realize the security risk this poses?
12:37:18 PM

You
No one should perform everyday tasks while logged in as admin.
12:37:52 PM

You
And the data in Quicken is the most sensitive data on my computer. Your company cannot seriously require that I use their product while logged in as admin.
12:38:35 PM

Roger
I apologize for the inconvenience you are facing because of this issue..
12:39:14 PM

You
This is completely unacceptable and I expect a full refund.
12:40:03 PM

Roger
Please let me know if Quicken is open with the User account?
12:40:14 PM

You
I just quit it.
12:40:37 PM

Roger
We will try to unlock Quicken with the User account and check if we can unlock it .
12:45:01 PM

Roger
Please type in some text and press Enter key on keyboard. Please let me know that we are connected.
12:45:07 PM

You
ok
12:45:46 PM

You
Thanks. While you're working on that, I'll give you some feedback.
12:45:59 PM

Roger
Sure..
12:46:30 PM

You
It's extremely frustrating to get an error message that tells you to perform a task under a menu, and then won't let you follow its own instructions because it keeps popping up.
12:47:29 PM

You
That error needs to give better information. It was telling me I could do something to fix the problem when I couldn't. It didn't describe the problem.
12:47:56 PM

Roger
I understand your concern. I have seen this issue so many times.This error persists only when you try to open Quicken with the user account and not with the Admin login.
12:47:57 PM

You
It was extemely frustrating to try to follow the instructions when the software wouldn't let me.
12:49:46 PM

Roger
I can imagine your frustration, If I were at your place, I would probably feel the same way.
12:50:10 PM

You
Also, I understand that most Windows users don't understand basic computer security, but I expect your software designers should. So even though most users foolishly only ever log in as admin, requiring them to do so for non-admin use of your product violates very basic tenets of computer security.
12:50:36 PM

You
Seriously, it's something worth reporting to the Better Business Bureau, it's that bad a security policy.
12:50:52 PM

Roger
I apologize for the inconvenience. You have a valid point, this will be a good feature to get added in Quicken. I will surely pass this suggestion to the development team. Would you also like to submit a product suggestion for this issue? The more people request a feature, the more likely it is to be added.
12:51:52 PM

You
I haven't been able to use the product yet, so I can't really comment.
12:54:09 PM

Roger
As you are facing the issue with the Admin Right you can submit the product suggestion on our site and Our developers will work on to resolve it.
12:54:26 PM

You
Ah, I see. Thanks.
12:54:40 PM

You
URL?
12:55:03 PM

Roger
Please use this link http://altserv.intuit.com/orien/qkn_enhance.html for Product suggestion.
12:55:23 PM

Roger
I hope you understand that this is an issue with the Product and there is nothing further I could have done to resolve this for you.
12:56:08 PM

You
Wait -- I thought you said you were trying to unlock it. Did I misunderstand?
12:56:50 PM

You
see 12:40:37
12:57:11 PM

Roger
I apologize.This will not help us resolve the issue as you have installed Quicken with the Admin login you will not be able to unlock it in User account.
12:57:30 PM

You
So how do I get my refund?
12:58:56 PM

Roger
I understand your situation .I will Refund you for the purchase of Quicken 2006,Please let me know the order number for the purchase of Quicken 2006?
12:59:44 PM

You
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
12:59:54 PM

Roger
Thank you..
1:02:44 PM

Roger
I apologize for the inconvenience caused. There is some maintanace happening in our servers due to which I am not able to process your request at this time. Please contact us on Monday and we will be happy to help.
1:03:31 PM

You
via chat?
1:03:49 PM

You
Do I just say I want the refund or do I have to explain the problem again?
1:04:00 PM

Roger
Yes..please get back to us using same e-mail address so that we get your session history for further assistance, we would be happy to resolve your issue.
1:05:10 PM

You
thanks for your time.
1:05:38 PM

Roger
While we weren't able to resolve your issue at this time, can we agree that I've provided reasonable support to address your needs? If not, please tell me how I can be of further help?
1:07:05 PM

You
I just wish this could have been resolved today without me having to re-initiate help on Monday. I've made a request for a refund, that should now go into some kind of queue. I shouldn't have to ask for the same help twice.
1:07:15 PM

You
Otherwise, yes, you've been very helpful.
1:08:08 PM

Roger
I can understand the inconvenience caused to you...I apologize for whatever trouble you had .
1:08:08 PM

Roger
Is there anything else I can assist you with today regarding Quicken?
1:08:26 PM

You
Oh go fucking die.

Overheard in the library

boy: How was my message last night? Was I slurring my words?
girl: Were you drunk? I knew you were! I couldn't tell, though, 'cause it was a Wednesday night.